Wreckage of Morty and the Heart
by shotgundanielle
Summary: What happens after the night of the dance that tore Clare and Eli apart. Will their love heal the wounds or will they be wrecked?    Be Aware: There may be some cursing and sexual behavior.
1. Chapter 1: Drifting

**Wreckage of Morty and the Heart**

**Beginning Notes**

**This fanfic t****akes place after the episode of Degrassi where Eli and Clare's relationship came to an end after Eli crashed his car, "Morty", for her. In my previous fanfic (that I gave up on due to issues in real life and is on an old account) I was in Eli's perspective. Honestly, after the last few episodes I do not relate to him as much as I used to. So this is most likely going to be all in Clare's perspective. Please read and enjoy. Reviews would be lovely.**

**Reading Tips:**

**Phrases that are****JUST**_italicized_**are mental thoughts.**

**Phrases JUST bolded ****are side notes and titles.**

**Phrases ****that are **_**bolded and italicized **_**are words that are emphasized for effect.**

**Phrases that are **normal **are descriptions and dialogue (the story basically)**

**Think of this as Clare (or Eli if I decide to include his POV) telling someone this story a few years after the events took place, so it is in past tense but the thoughts take place the same time as the event occurring.**

* * *

><p><strong>Wreckage of Morty and the Heart<strong>

**Chapter One:**

**Drifting**

**~Clare's POV~**

It was a beautiful night. Spring was fresh in the evening air and the stars shimmered more than the tears creeping down my face. I was wearing a gorgeous green dress, my hair was in loose, yet tight, curls, and my passionate red lipstick finished the look. By now, my hair was flat and my lipstick was smeared due to the abuse from the tears and my hands wiping them away.

So much had happened. Yet it has only been a few hours since I saw him at school. Looking like himself, his green eyes, dark brown hair. Neither a mark nor scar on the face that held the crooked smile so perfectly.

_Will he ever look the same? The face I fell in love with so easily._

At the dance, I told Alli my feelings. I'm sure she took them as me not loving him. But I loved him.

_I still do love him._

I was _**drifting **_over the sidewalks under me. I saw myself moving through the town, but my legs felt like nothing. My whole body was nothing, except my heart. It pained me to breathe; I was struggling to even keep it beating. It felt like it just wanted to give up. I had never felt anything like this. It was a strange high. It was a depressing, dark, painful, but strangely a high. The best way to put it was that I freed myself from something that gave me pleasure but suffocated me. I was in pain because I will never feel the pleasure, but liberated that I escaped. The liberation couldn't save me from the heart break.

"_You ripped my heart out!"_

_I promise Eli, that's not what I wanted. None of this is what I wanted._

I drifted closer and closer to my house. But in the darkness, it seemed miles away.

"_You made a promise, remember? That you'd never leave me."_

_You forced me too. I wanted to keep that promise._

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a group of girls walking home from the dance too. They were smiling, laughing, and chatting away while taking their time returning to their homes.

_"Growing apart!__ Any other melodramatic clichés you wanna throw my way?"_

_Those are my feelings. Not __melodramatic clichés as you accused them of being. _

"_I'll get rid of it."_

That was the last thought that went through my mind before I fell to the ground. The cold, rough concrete scraped against my bare legs. The tears were being unleashed at an unbearable rate. My breathing turned into sobs desperately trying to get air. My eyes were shut tightly trying to stop this breakdown. I heard numerous pairs of heels approach me.

The rest is slightly foggy to me because the phrase "I'll get rid of it." was taking over my mind.

"_I'll get rid of it."_

"_I'll get rid of it."_

"_I'll get rid of it."_

"_I'll get rid of it."_

"_I'll get rid of it."_

That was the small sentence that gave him the idea to do what he did. That tiny, simple sentence changed my life.

* * *

><p>When my eyes opened I was on a strange couch in an unfamiliar house. The girls ended up escorting me to one of their houses. I was too fogged up from the tears that I didn't realize that the girls walked me another block to one of their houses and laid me on her couch. I shut my eyes again to focus on where the pain in my body was coming from.<p>

"Hey, she's up you guys. Why don't you go home and I'll take care of her." said a recognizable voice.

The group of girls said their various goodbyes and soon the sound of clicking heels followed by a door shut traveled through my ears.

I reopened my eyes to see a brown haired girl holding a first aid kit.

"Hey Clare, how are you feeling?" she asked.

"Sadie, I was fine really… I was just having a moment."

I had met her a while back, Dave introduced us. She's pretty, nice, and funny. Dave is well… Dave.

_I wonder how he got her._

Sadie looked at me and tilted her head. Her face changed sympathetically and she scooted a chair close to the couch.

"I texted Alli and she told me what happened."

_At least I don't have to explain._

"Ah." I barely replied.

She put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Listen, I've been through break ups too, and I've had someone I care about get in an accident too. If you need to talk, I'm here for you. When my friends and I saw you back there, we were really worried."

I nodded and thanked her quietly.

She picked up my cell phone off the coffee table and handed it to me.

_It must have fallen out of my jean jacket's pocket._

"Call your mom and have her pick you up. It's almost twelve but I'm sure she would understand since she was the one who drove you to the hospital."

I cringed as the word "hospital" was mentioned.

It wasn't until 12:30 that I got home. On the car ride, my mom was asking me what happened and why I was at a random girl's house. I told her I will tell her in the morning.

But I don't want morning to come.

_Please let this be a dream._

I rested my head on my pillow and shut my eyes. It wasn't shocking when the first thing that came to my mind was;

"_I'll get rid of it."_


	2. Chapter 2: Swirling

**Wreckage of Morty and the Heart**

**Chapter Two:**

**Swirling**

**~Clare's POV~**

The morning seemed like any other Saturday morning with my mom. Sun rays were creeping through the shades on my window, the smell of coffee circulated through the air, songs of Michael_Bublé_ were bouncing off the walls, and my mom was humming along.

Usually it was pretty happy because she'd often pour me a cup of coffee with French vanilla in it, make me a cinnamon roll, put on my favorite songs, and we'd just talk. Not about Dad or Eli. Just talking about life.

It's been a few months since the separation and she's doing rather well. She told me that the church and her friends have been helping her. I'm glad she has outlets that get her moving forward.

But this morning I didn't want to get up. I wanted to go to sleep and wake back up on yesterday morning. Before the dance. So I could meet Eli at the bench and tell him to just go without me, or to convince him that the dance would be fun. Anything other than what I really did. Unfortunately, it was Saturday morning. My first love is in the hospital, my heart is in pain, my knees are all scraped up, and my mom is downstairs waiting for me.

I got up reluctantly from my bed and headed to the bathroom. I ran a brush through my hair, brushed my teeth, cleaned off the remaining make up from last night, and I was about to wash my hands until I saw something on them.

_The heart Eli drew on my hand in Sharpie in English Thursday. _

My eyes were stinging from the tears starting to form but I quickly rubbed them with a wet towel. I scrubbed at the already faded heart until it was gone and the back of my hand was red.

_I'm sorry._

I slowly walked downstairs and saw my mom doing exactly what she does every Saturday morning. She was in front of the toaster oven containing the cinnamon roll and swaying her hips along with the music.

I stirred her from her moment when I said, "Morning, Mom."

She quickly turned around and smiled, "Oh Clare you scared me. I'm glad you're up, your cinnamon roll is on its way."

I felt like I wanted to smile but I couldn't.

_I hope she doesn't try talking to me about last night._

"Clare, sit down. I need to speak to you." She said to me with her back turned and getting the delicious treat out of the toaster oven.

_Oh great._

I sat down and had my eyes follow the plate with the cinnamon roll as it slid across the counter to avoid eye contact with my mom.

"Clare, I do not exactly know what happened last night but I'm just letting you know I don't want to hear about it... yet."

_What? Is she serious? She really isn'__t trying to butt in for once?_

"A… Are you for… real?" I stumbled to even say.

She looked down at her cup of coffee and nodded.

"Yes, obviously whatever it is, the effect on your emotions is great. I don't want to pressure you into talking about them like we tried to do with Darcy throughout her dilemma." She said sadly obviously thinking about Darcy.

_Wow, that actually makes sense._

I attempted my best smile and thanked her.

The rest of the breakfast was quiet and awkward. I then got up after taking one bite of my food and one sip of my drink.

* * *

><p>I had already fixed up my look but I felt lazy today so I decided to dress without showering first.<p>

_I did last night right before the dance anyway. Less than 24 hours ago._

I got chills thinking back to before the dance. I quietly had gotten ready. In my mind I was imaging the perfect scenario. I would be dancing with Alli and Eli would come in. He'd take my hand and lead me to the hall. He'd tell me that he's sorry for the possessiveness and plans to go to therapy. He would place his lips on my hand that would still be in his and ask for a dance. We'd have a great, care-free time. Then he would drive me home and tell me that the trip is off and he will be cleaning his room for the next week while I have my space. He'd kiss me gently on the cheek and leave. And as soon as he would pull away I'd get a text from him saying, "I still love you, Clare Edwards. This will make us stronger and happier." I'd go to bed with a hopeful smile and in the morning he'd send me a text saying good morning and that he was only going to text me once in the morning and once at night. Then after the week was over and he already saw his therapist at least once, it would be like when we first started dating.

Too bad that wasn't what happened. Eli is too stubborn to let that happen. He had to make things difficult.

I put on some comfortable jeans and a sweatshirt with a t-shirt underneath. I figured I should get dressed in case my mom wanted to take me out, but also something comfortable in case she didn't. I sat down on my bed and opened my email. Other than spam there was nothing.

_Eli must not have his computer with him in the hospital… and his phone was lost in the crash. He doesn't have anyway to reach me unless through his parents. _

I logged on to my facerange. Alli sent me a message late last night asking how I was feeling. I replied, "_**Alli, I will call you sometime today or tomorrow.**_" I looked at my notifications. They were almost all just photos from last night I was tagged in. Key word: almost.

There was one, from Adam who wrote on my wall this morning.

"_**Clare, something really bad happened. You need to come to the hospital asap.**_"

Thoughts were _**swirling **_around my head. It was written around six this morning. Adam is never up this early on a weekend. And he hates hospitals, so he'd only go if there were a real emergency. Something must have happened to Eli. He was lucky to be alive. But he was torn up so badly, and I'm sure the emotional pain I put him through couldn't help. The look in those beautiful green eyes was just heartbreak.

_Is there some kind of blood clot?_

I hurried to my shoes and put them on.

_Did his doctor say his injuries are going to take him long to heal?_

I shut my computer and rushed out of my room.

_Can he not walk anymore?_

I started down the stair when the most horrific thought came to my mind. It was one that I wouldn't even try to imagine.

_Did he kill himself?_

_Oh god._


	3. Chapter 3: Betrayed

**Wreckage of Morty and the Heart**

**Chapter Three:**

**Betrayed**

**~Clare's POV~**

_Please let him be ok._

_Please let him be ok._

After a car ride that seemed to be hours, yet in reality was only ten minutes, the hospital came into view and my mother was looking for a place to park. It's odd how things seem to take so much longer when you need to get somewhere right away. Here's two examples, the car ride, and the fact almost every parking spot was taken and my mom was just circling around the lot.

"Mom, can't you just drop me off in the front and meet me in the lobby?" I asked impatiently.

_Why do I have to be here in the car to see her park?_

She sighed and directed the car towards the front of the hospital.

"Clare, these hospital visits better not become a regular thing."

_She sounds like I want to be here. How can she be so insensitive? And for a while there I thought she was actually a good parent._

She stopped the car in front of the doors and told me she'd meet me in there and would text me. I stepped out and darted through the automatic doors to be greeted by the fluorescent lights and the stereotypical smell of hospital. My eyes desperately searched for the Purple Dragon vending machine that Adam texted me that he'd be at. I couldn't find it. So I ran up to the front desk and saw the red headed nurse look up at me.

"May I help you, miss?" She asked kindly.

I disregarded her friendliness and rudely asked, "Just tell me where the Purple Dragon machine is."

She cocked her head a little surprised at my attitude. She pointed down the hall and cleared her throat.

_I don't mean to be so… mean._

I nodded and ran down that hall to see halfway down it was Adam. Him and I quickly ran to each other. I was oblivious to everything else.

"ADAM!" I exclaimed as we met each other.

Adam hugged me and said, "Clare I am so glad you got here. Something really bad happened to Eli."

_Oh my god…_

I felt tears starting to form. One escaped and fell down my cheek. I saw that Adam noticed. His face went from apathetic to sad… or maybe guilt?

He grabbed my hand and led me to Eli's room. When we got in there everything seemed the same from last night. Eli actually looked better in fact. His marks were clean and already starting to heal, his bandages were fresh, he had a pile of comics, a soda, and computer in front of him.

He was also smiling at me.

_What's going on?_

Then I heard a door slam and a lock. I turned my head to see that Adam was holding the door shut, from the outside.

_A set up? How could Adam do this to me. _

* * *

><p>"Clare, we need to talk." Eli's sweet voice said.<p>

All my feelings for him came up. As angry as I was, I felt all the love for him warm up my face. Maybe the fact that I was so worried made me feel even more loving towards him. I don't know what possessed me, but I climbed in the bed with him and held him tighter than I have ever. I was sobbing and crying. I was unsure what made me do all these things. But I couldn't think. I was just doing.

His silent sobs met mine, "I love you so much, Clare. I knew we would be together. We're meant to be. You are my everything. I never have felt this way and I just want you always. I felt terrible from all the things I have done to you but Clare, we can make it through all this. I promise. We are strong and our love is so strong." I gripped him tighter as my tears increased. "I love you and I will do everything for you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. You and me, Clare Edwards and Eli Goldsworthy, it's the way it is supposed to be. You are the only one for me."

I looked into his green eyes and our lips drifted close, and eventually met. I immediately pulled away and unwrapped my arms from him.

_What am I doing? Yes… it was amazing. And his words gave me massive amounts of butterflies. But I can't. He manipulates me and will only leave me hurt… but I do love him…_

He looked up at me confused but somewhat satisfied. Like he knew this was going to happen. I crossed my arms and looked around the room. I looked out to window to see Adam holding the door and looking back at me. He hurried and turned his head so it would seem like he didn't see what just happened.

I looked at Eli and asked plainly, "So what was so important that I had to come here?"

His eyes shifted and he fumbled with his hands. "Clare, I just needed to see you again so that would happen. You and I getting back together. So I told Adam to get you here."

_Goddammit Adam._

"Eli, we are not, I repeat are not, getting back together. I don't know why that all happened but we are not. You manipulate me and now you are getting Adam to manipulate me. I can't ever trust you. I can't talk to you anymore. If you or Adam try contacting me, I'm just going to ignore it." I ranted.

"Clare-" he attempted to say but was interrupted by me.

"No Eli, I'm going! Just leave me alone!" I yelled.

Adam opened the door and asked, "Clare why are you yelling?"

I looked at him. He _**betrayed **_me. How could I ever trust him?

"Don't talk to me, Adam." I said as I walked out.

Both Adam and Eli were calling my name, but I ignored them. I felt my phone vibrate. I figured it was my mom. I just kept walking and walking. It felt like a walk of shame. I was tricked by the people I was closest too and I kissed one who only manipulates me. I was upset. But I wasn't crying because I wasn't sad. I was furious. I had nothing now and it was all his fault.

* * *

><p>I went into the lobby and saw my mom there.<p>

She looked at my fuming face concerned and said, "Let's just go home Clarebear."

I nodded and we walked almost half a mile to where the car was parked. The car ride home was silent. When I got home I marched up to my room and collapsed on my bed. I was staring at my still fan when I realized how warm it was.

_Spring really is here I guess._

I turned on the switch and my fan began to spin. All the dust fell from it as it hasn't moved since last spring. But something else fell from it too.

_A note?_


End file.
